Dialonics

	Lau (lou') tr.v. Lau'd (loud). 1. To refuse to pay attention to; disregard. [Derived from experience with Ken Lau saying he will meet with you.] (syn. blown off) Usage: Bob: Ken, when can we update the schedules? Ken: Bob, I'll be in your office in five minutes! {one hour later after Ken hasn't shown up} Bob: I'VE BEEN LAU'D!!!
	Dis·a·Lau (dis'a-lou') tr.v. Dis·a·Lau'd (dis'a-loud). 1. To pay no attention or heed to; ignore. 2. To treat without proper respect or attentiveness. --n. Lack of thoughtful attention or due regard, esp. when willful. [Derived from experience with Ken Lau not caring that he Lau'd you.] (syn. kicked to the curb, dis'd)
	Mikey - Hard working individual who becomes responsible for something they shouldn't; victim of PDP (Product Development Process). Usuage: Give it to Mikey, he'll eat (or do) anything.
	Design For Manufacturability - Forget it, just add more stuff!
	Risk - When something is wrong but we're doing it anyway. Risk Assessment - A meeting at which individuals convene to agree that something is wrong and that they'll do it anyway.
	Process - 1. A series of actions or operations leading to an end. 2. Often used as an excuse for inflexibility and permission to worm out of doing something. 3. Stupification of the workforce.
	Product Development Process - (PDP) Process by which accountability is moved from project engineering to other organizations within Dialogic.
	Empower(ment) - 1. To give official authority or legal power. 2. ancient and medieval resource management method by which employees were tricked into thinking they had authority.
	Continuum - 1. A continuous extent, succession, or whole no part of which can be distinquished from neighboring parts except by arbitrary division. Click here for an explanation as it applies to Dialogic. Pull the plug before we get sucked into the vortex!
	Schedule - 1. Something DM3 has no concept of.
A	Alpha - Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work".
ß	Beta - Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it is released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work".
	Limited Production - Same as Beta except we lie about it still not working. See Beta.
	Q:\EXCHANGE - 1. Black Hole. 2. Directory where all files that you need disappear to.
	Error Message - Terse, baffling remark used by Dialogic programmers to place blame on users or hardware for the program's shortcomings.
	Hardware - Collective term for any computer-related object that can be kicked or battered.
	Help - The feature that assists in generating more questions. When the help feature is used correctly, users are able to navigate through a series of Help screens and end up where they started from without learning anything.
	Interim Release - A programmer's feable attempt at repentance.
	Reference Manual - Object that raises the monitor to eye level. Also used to compensate for that short table leg.
	Scheduled Release Date - A carefully calculated date determined by estimating the actual shipping date and subtracting six months from it.
	User-Friendly - Of or pertaining to any feature, device, or concept that makes perfect sense to a programmer.
	Open Switch - What happens when you open a switch? The light turns off.
	Metaphage - The plague of Dialogic. Similar in concept to the phage from Star Trek Voyager.

Dialonics - Dialogic Ebonics